South Eastern Centre Against Sexual Assault & Family Violence

Family violence checklist

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Family violence is a pattern of behaviour that intimidates or belittles or physically hurts you. If you answer ‘yes’ to any of these questions, you may be experiencing family violence, and need help.

  • Has your partner or family member ever threatened to harm or kill you?
  • Does your partner physically hurt you, damage property, throw things or make you feel unsafe or frightened?
  • Does your partner make you feel like you can’t do anything right or make you feel bad about yourself?
  • Does your partner constantly put you down, criticise your looks or call you names?
  • Do you feel forced or pressured into having sex, even when you don’t want to?
  • Has your partner made you do something humiliating or degrading?
  • Does your partner control the household finances or your money (such as take money away from you or control how you spend it)?
  • When you talk to members of the opposite sex, does your partner act jealously or suspicious for no reason, or accuse you of flirting with the other person?
  • Does your partner try to control your contact with your family and friends (such as monitor or limit your phone calls, conversations and emails) or stop you from seeing them?
  • Does your partner constantly need or demand to know where you are (for example, does your partner check your car odometer to try to work out where you’ve been)?
  • Does your partner treat you like a possession?
  • Has your partner used force or coercion to make you do things against your will?
  • If your partner has been aggressive, did they say their anger and violence was your fault?
  • Has your partner denied using violence or said it wasn’t that bad or you were asking for it?
  • Is it difficult to disagree with your partner or to say ‘no’ to them?
  • Has your partner stalked, or constantly harassed you?
  • If you have children, has your partner threatened to take the children away from you?
  • Has your partner threatened to hurt your children, family, friends or pets?
  • Does your partner question your children about where you’ve been and who with?
  • Has your partner encouraged your children to insult you or tell you inappropriate things?
  • Do your children hear or see things that might be damaging to them?
  • Does your partner threaten to kill him or herself?

If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, you may be experiencing family violence and need help. Even if it has only happened once.

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