Sexuality

Home: Workers: Counselling Issues: Supporting family members

It is unusual for the sexual assault of a child not to have an impact on the sexuality of the parents. There are many different reactions which are normal and natural. Some parents want to avoid sex altogether; they may feel revolted by what has happened and feel unable to enjoy their sexual relationships. Others may seek comfort from sex as a powerful antidote to sadness and loss. Parents have reported intrusive thoughts of their child's abuse when they are having sex. Parents who are not in a relationship can fear new sexual partners because their ability to trust has been undermined. Some mothers feel guilty about getting any pleasure from something that hurt their child. Others feel unable to have sex at all. Others may crave the comfort they get from their sexuality.

Sex is often seen as an acceptable way for men to show their emotions and a need for intimacy can be strong during a personal crisis. It is most important to admit these feelings and thoughts and parents should be encouraged to discuss them openly and honestly with a partner/counsellor/friend so it will be easier to resolve them.

Reinforce that sexual assault is about one person abusing their power to hurt another in a sexual way. Sex is about closeness, intimacy, love, comfort and pleasure. They are not in the least bit the same.

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Disclaimer Copyright Updated: 9 Feb 2010