Key factors for nondisclosure

Home: Workers: Working with Children: Key factors for nondisclosure

(Note: Children are defined in legislation as up to 17 years of age.)

Children may be threatened not just in dramatic ways as we often read, but more often in quite subtle ways. One of the key factors to consider is the relationship of the child to the offender. Statistics indicate that the overwhelming majority of offenders are known to the child and the nature of this relationship may present particular barriers to disclosure.

For example, in cases where the offender is a family member, the child may have maintained silence from an early age in order to avoid the blame, upheaval and possible relationship breakdown that a disclosure may create in the family. While this may maintain the peace for other family members, the child experiences daily isolation, fear, self-doubt, ongoing risk and an absence of understanding or support. Other times of family re-union, such as weekends, access visits, Christmas, weddings etc can be fraught with difficulty for the individual in this position giving rise to considerable and sometimes overwhelming fear and distress.

As in cases of sexual assault by a family member, assault by a friend or acquaintance, a person whom the child otherwise had reason to trust, holds implications for their future relationships. They may feel that they can no longer trust their assumptions about who is trustworthy or even in their ability to make these sort of judgements. They will be fearful of the opinions of others who have shared a relationship with the offender and doubt their ability to judge character or perceive themselves or others accurately. The violation of the assault and the shattering of the sense of self may leave the child fearful of returning to social activity and uncertain of where they stand in relation to others. If the offender was a work mate, as in the case of an adolescent, they may also be facing loss of employment and income. All in all this leaves the young person extremely vulnerable and facing the daunting task of re-building their identity and view of the world in circumstances in which everything they have known or defined themselves through has changed.

In common with sexual assault by someone known to the victim, the impact of sexual assault by a stranger will be shaped by the context in which it occurs and the type of assault involved. Rape by a stranger brings an experience of unparalleled terror and whilst issues of trust in family and/or friendships may not immediately be raised, stranger rape will create an overwhelming sense of the unpredictability of life, of personal vulnerability and highlight the young person's sense of their own mortality. Strong residual feelings will include fear and terror often generated by flashbacks or dreams, a sense of isolation in the midst of previously close relationships, denial or disbelief and anxiety or terror about being in public or with unknown people. Again the task of the worker is to understand and validate each feeling as it arises whilst assisting the young person to plan for and predict emotional changes and develop appropriate coping strategies.

Sexual assault by an authority figure occurs in a range of contexts, relationships and roles which involve the unequal distribution of authority. An obvious example of this is in the workplace between an employer and the young person or co-employee. Other examples include assaults within professional relationships or relationships in which the offender is seen to be providing ongoing care or service to the child. For example, assaults by doctors, lawyers, police, teachers, clergy etc. (For more on this see Sexual Harassment section) As in the case of sexual assault by a family member, sexual assault by an authority figure typically takes place within an ongoing relationship in which the offender has, by virtue of community expectation, a 'duty of care' responsibility. Little attention, let alone systematic attention, has been given to ensure measures for the safety or accountability in these relationships and this has given offenders broad scope for abuse. The child survivor of this sort of sexual assault feels extremely powerless and if they do have an opportunity to disclose are often confronted with disbelief by others which exacerbates their disempowerment. Community myths about sexual assault and sexual offenders lead them to question the reality of their own experience or attribute blame for the assault to themselves and this self-blame may be actively reinforced by their offenders. (More about Incest Myths, Rape Myths)

It is important, as workers, to be aware that a professional, authoritarian or spiritual position in society does not preclude the possibility of sexual assault and that irrespective of the excuses offered by offenders in justification of this exploitation, it must be understood that no level of authority entitles the exploitation, humiliation or assault of another human being.

Children are naturally curious about bodies and sexual matters. Offenders can use this curiosity to involve children. Many boys, for instance, can be drawn in by the offender offering to demonstrate ejaculation or oral sex, or to show pornography.

Children may feel utterly confused if the assaults have been physically pleasurable. Often the offender may begin their abuse with gentle touching, cuddles or genital stimulation which all children will have a physical reaction to. This does NOT mean that they enjoy the abuse, it means that their bodies are responding automatically and normally to stimulation. Children lack the necessary information that adults have come to learn about sexual arousal, so the experience may become absolutely terrifying, overwhelming the child with feelings of shame and guilt. Offenders can use this to ensure their victims silence, for instance by telling a boy when he gets an erection that this must mean he is enjoying the sexual activity.

Children are subject to a number of fears that offenders can and do play on, for example the fear of monsters, being 'sent away' or not being loved. Children may be threatened with violence to themselves or, more often to their loved ones, be it a family member, pet, or even their favorite soft toy.

Children may be enticed and bribed with "goodies" which they enjoy, but feel guilty about, especially if the goodies themselves are forbidden eg, alcohol, money, pornography or even sweets.

Most often children may have been drawn in to the offenders' web with extra attention, love and affection which in turn makes the child feel special. They may feel 'understood' by the offender and believe that they are being listened to. This is a very common experience for adolescents and lonely, isolated children. The child may feel the assaults are the price they pay for the attention that they crave. The child may hope that the next contact that they have with the offender will not need to include the sexual activity. The offender will usually think otherwise.

Some children may not tell because they do not yet know that sexual assault is wrong. The child may assume that it happens to everyone and may not realise until much later that their experiences are not shared by everyone.

It is difficult for any child to say 'no' to an adult under most circumstances. It is VERY difficult for children to say 'no' to adults whom they depend on, love and trust. In any event the act of saying 'no' will not prevent an offender doing what he has planned.

It is the responsibility of adults to protect children and to take steps to prevent sexual abuse.

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Disclaimer Copyright Updated: 16 Jul 2003