Getting the most from counselling

Home: Survivors: Healing: Getting the most from it

When you are on a healing journey, it will be more beneficial if you and your traveling companion (your counsellor) have a good working relationship. Remember, it's your journey not theirs. Before you ring an agency to ask to see a counsellor, think briefly about any criterion you may have. For instance is the gender of your counsellor important? How about their religious outlook? Is their age an issue for you? Once you've done this, you can be clear when speaking with the duty worker about who you think might help you best.

Once you start counselling, it is important that you trust your counsellor. You will need to explore deep feelings and emotional issues in order to affect change. If, after the first few sessions, you find yourself holding things back or too embarrassed or intimidated to talk, then something has gone amiss. If you think it would help, discuss these feelings with your counsellor. If you don't think this will help, or it is too difficult, then ask for a referral to see someone else. You can either ask your counsellor for a referral, or ring the agency and ask to speak to either the duty worker or the manager.

If you have been to several different counsellors and things still don't feel as if they are moving forward, perhaps you might want to take a step back and examine why you think you need counselling, and what it is you want to change or explore. Sometimes we get so caught up in being sick of everything or just needing help, that we forget what counselling is about. You and your counsellor both need a direction. Otherwise, it's like saying 'I just want to go somewhere, I don't care where' and jumping on a bus, then being disappointed because it only went as far as the next suburb! Try thinking about why you want counselling and what you wish to achieve by going to a counsellor. Writing a list can be helpful. Where you are and where you want to go can also be explored over several sessions by yourself and your counsellor. Perhaps you are trying to do too much at once.

If you still find that nothing is changing, then you may be right! Perhaps that is one of the subconscious objectives you have set. Change will only occur if you make it happen. Change is hard work. It takes persistence and courage. If you are frustrated at a lack of change, discuss this with your counsellor. Perhaps they can see changes that you can't. Perhaps you may need to set some measurable goals. Perhaps you have just reached a plateau in your healing and need to rest for a while.

Getting counselling is no different from anything else in life. You get out of it what you put into it, and if you are not happy with the service being provided then change it!

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Disclaimer Copyright Updated: 5 Dec 2011