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Counselling information for women
Home: Survivors: Healing: Counselling information
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Introduction
If you are reading this booklet you probably need support with experiences you find difficult, threatening or overwhelming. Many of us are struggling with the results of our experiences as women: experiences of violence, other people's expectations and all the work of caring for ourselves and others. We all develop survival skills, and sometimes we can benefit from talking to other women.
You are entitled to care and attention and acceptance of your unique experiences and ways of dealing with them. You know what is best for you.
It can be difficult to find out about all your options but this is important in order to make the best choice. This booklet has some basic information about counselling and your rights. At the back there is a list of places to ring to find a counsellor or other support; we didn't have space to list all the people and groups available but the list will help you find them.
"It's O.K. to go to a counsellor... some people see it as you're not coping when actually you're using it as a coping mechanism."
Finding a counsellor
What is counselling?
The main aims of counselling are to help you:
- feel more in charge of your life;
- clarify situations and difficulties;
- find solutions you haven't tried yet.
The role of the counsellor is to:
- make a safe space away from other demands;
- focus on you and your needs;
- give you time to explore your thoughts and feelings;
- suggest different ways of behaving or thinking.
Your family and friends can also be very helpful but sometimes they impose their own needs on you. Sometimes they deny or avoid difficult issues they don't want to deal with.
Many women prefer to see a woman counsellor, but some men can be helpful too. In this booklet we call counsellors 'she' but we mean both women and men.
When counselling might help you
- when you feel stuck in a situation you can't seem to get out of by yourself;
- when an issue is seriously affecting your day to day life;
- when you can't make important decisions, don't know what to do next;
- when you need to discuss an issue with someone to give you a new perspective.
Asking for help
When you are constantly expected to cope with everything it can be difficult to ask for help for yourself. Everyone has to ask for help at some time and you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity at all times.
It is good to be clear about what you're asking for. If you don't want to give many personal details you can say something general like 'I need to talk to someone about some family problems'. You can ask for a private interview if there are other people around.
Talking to a stranger
Sometimes it is difficult to talk about personal things with someone you don't know. Some women find it easier than with friends or family because the counsellor isn't involved and will keep it confidential.
You may worry that she'll find you silly or think that other people have more important problems. It's her job to know that what you're there for is important to you and to take that seriously.
It doesn't matter if you don't know what to say you can start anywhere and reveal yourself gradually. The counsellor can help you by asking questions and you can choose whether or not to answer these.
"I have trouble finding a counsellor that I feel comfortable with. I can't always understand what they're saying because my English isn't that good, but I don't want to see someone from my country because it is such a small community."
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Disclaimer
Copyright Updated: 24 Sep 2009
The South Eastern Centre Against Sexual Assault acknowledges the traditional Aboriginal owners of country throughout Victoria. We pay our respects to them, their culture and their Elders past, present and future.