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Home: Survivors: Family Violence: The Jewish taskforce

"It is not an enemy who reviles me - I could bear that.
It is not a foe who vaunts himself against me
I could hide from him
But it is is you, my equal, my companion, my friend
Sweet was our fellowship
We walked together"
Psalm 55

What is family violence?

Family violence can be defined as the abuse of power, usually to gain control over other family members. It is any behaviour which causes physical, sexual of psychological damage or causes a family member to live in fear.

It is mainly committed by men against women and children. Family violence can also include the abuse of parents, siblings and other family members.

Some forms of family violence such as stalking, physical and sexual abuse are against Australian law. Other forms of abusive behaviour which are not recognised as criminal but are just as, if not more, damaging to the victim, include emotional, psychological, verbal, financial, social and spiritual abuse.

Witnessing or experiencing family violence usually has a very damaging effect on all who are subjected to it, especially children. It is also damaging to those who commit violence.

Silence about this abuse only makes it harder for Jewish victims and those who care for them to speak up about violence in their homes. There are no excuses for violence.

We need to end the silence.
No one deserves to be beaten or abused

Violence and abuse occurs in families with a wide range of socio-economic and educational backgrounds. Abusive family members can be well-liked and respected by friends, workmates, extended family and neighbours, and may be active in community affairs. Because of this, our community often fails to recognise or condemn their abusive behaviour within the family.

The Jewish Community is not immune to family violence and the behaviours described can and do occur amongst Jews.

Examples of physical, sexual and other abusive behaviour include:

• Hitting, kicking, slapping, choking or other forms of assault;
• Forcing a partner to do unwanted sexual acts or forcing a child to perform any sexual act;
• Refusing to let you see friends or family;
• Threatening to hurt you, the children, other family members, or to take them from you;
• Disconnecting the phone, locking you in the house;
• Constroling all the money;
• Repeatedly insulting you at home and/or in front of others;
• Smashing objects, breaking walls, furniture etc.

In many families, violence is not an isolated incident but occurs on an ongoing and often escalating basis.

There are no excuses for violence and all these behaviours are unacceptable.

If you are or have been in a violent situation, you may be experiencing a range of different feelings. Although everybody is different, there are some common responses:

Victims may feel:

• Ashamed;
• Alone;
• Worried;
• Scared;
• Angry;
• Unable to eat or sleep;
• Degraded;
• Confused;
• Guilty;
• Insecure;
• Failed;
• Crazy.

Young people and children may feel:

• Fearful or withdrawn;
• Powerless;
• Unable to concentrate at school;
• Depressed;
• Alone;
• Angry and explosive.

Although you may feel powerless and afraid, you are not to be blamed for the violence. You have a right to be safe. You and your family have a right to live a life free of violence. Your extended family, friends and neighbours have a responsibility to listen, believe and support you.

Perpetrators of abuse can also experience a range of different feelings. Some of these may be :-

• Frustration;
• Concern;
• Anger;
• Fear and confusion.

Family violence is a crime

You are not alone.
You are not to blame.
You will be believed.
Tell someone you know and trust.
Your cry for help can only be answered when it is heard.
Only by ending the silence can family violence be stopped.

Where to go for help

Rabbis and doctors are often the first contact for Jewish people experiencing family violence or abuse. Some people may also talk to family, friends and workmates, or a counsellor. While many have received great support and assistance through these channels, in some cases they felt very let down and required further assistance from specialists in family violence work. You have a right to get the type of support that is of most benefit to you. If you have not received the understanding and support you need, please.

TRY AGAIN, YOU WILL BE BELIEVED

The services listed below are confidential and professional.

Jewish Community Services

Provides a wide range of CONFIDENTIAL services including support, information referral, individual and family counselling, and anonymous phone counselling.

24 Hour Crisis & Emergency Services:

Women's Domestic Violence Crisis Centre
This service provides referrals to Women's refuges and urgent telephone advice and information.

St Kilda Crisis Centre
Statewide service provides crisis counselling, information and referral for emergency housing.

CASA (Centres Against Sexual Assault)
Provides all forms of support to all victims of sexual assault.

Kids Helpline
Provides support, advice and referral to young people and children.

Protective Services

Police Call 000

Daytime agencies for Information, Advice and Support:

Domestic Violence Outreach Workers (for victims)
Support, advocacy and information for victims of domestic violence.

DVRC (Domestic Violence Resource Centre)
Provides support, information and advice to victims including young people in violent families.

WIRE (Women's Information and Referral Exchange)
Telephone counselling, advice and referral for women and girls.

Women's Legal Resource Group
Telephone legal advice and referral to women and girls. 94160294

Court Network
Provides support for people attending court and support for people applying for intervention orders.

Men's Referral Service
Information, support and referral for men or boys who are violent or abusive in the home and want to change their behaviour. This service also provides advice and support to female partners or other family members concerned about abusive males. MRS refers men to their local men's group.

The Jewish Community is united in its condemnation of family violence, and in its resolve to end it.

The Jewish Taskforce Against Family Violence is a group of concerned Jewish people from both secular and religious backgrounds who are committed to the elimination of violence in Jewish families.

The aims of the taskforce and the views expressed in this brochure are endorsed by:

• Association of Principals of Jewish Day Schools
• Association of Rabbis and Ministers of Australia and New Zealand
• Australian Union of Jewish Students
• Australian Zionist Youth Council
• B'nai B'rith
• Council of Orthodox Synagogues of Victoria
• Emunah Australia
• Hillel Foundation of Victoria
• Jewish Community Council of Victoria
• Jewish Community Services Inc.
• Melbourne Beth Din
• National Council of Jewish Women
• Victorian Union of Progressive Judaism
• Women Caring for Women Melbourne
• Women's International Zionist Organisation
• Yeshivah Centre

The Taskforce wishes to acknowledge the commitment and financial support of Women Caring for Women Melbourne, the professional and administrative support, advice and commitment from the staff of Jewish Community Services.

Donations to assist in the provision of services to current or former victims of family violence can be sent to: The Secretary Jewish Taskforce Against Family Violence PO Box 455 Bentleigh 3204.

Sponsor

The Jewish Taskforce Against Family Violence

Disclaimer Copyright Updated: 1 Oct 2009