Myths and facts about violence

Home: Survivors: Family Violence: Violence against women

There are many myths surrounding violence perpetrated against women. These myths can affect the way women feel about themselves and the violence they have experienced.

It is important to remember that violence is not your fault and you are not to blame for someone else's violence.

Following are some facts about the most commonly held myths:

Myth: Women ask for it.

Fact: No one ever wants or invites violence such as family violence or sexual assault. These are brutal and damaging crimes, which occur regardless of how women dress, how they look, their professions, where they go and how old they are.

Myth: If you go out with someone you are obliged to have sex with them.

Fact: You do not have to have sex with someone you have been out with, or someone who has bought you dinner or a drink. If you do have sex with someone you have dated who then becomes violent, it is still unacceptable and a criminal act. You do not have to have sex with someone you have invited back to your place. If anyone forces you or tries to force you to have sex, it is a criminal offence which is punishable by law.

Going on a date with someone does not ever mean that the person has the right to harm you.

Myth: Men commit rape and sexual assault because they can't control their sexual desires.

Fact: Men can control their sexual desires, however strong, if they want to. No "desire" gives anyone the right to violate another person. These crimes are usually motivated by the desire to control, dominate, hurt and humiliate, not sexual desire. Far from being caused by a lack of control, many sexual assaults are premeditated.

Myth: It is reasonable for a man to use force to maintain control over the family.

Fact: A man is only one member of the family unit, and it is never acceptable for him to use violence for any reason. When conflict arises it should be resolved through discussion and not through the use of force.

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Disclaimer Copyright Updated: 2 Jul 2003