Support that's right

Home: Survivors: For Sex Workers: The Power Book

Get support before you think you need it. Most people who have been sexually assaulted say they most needed support at the time of the assault by way of "someone to talk to" and "emotional support".

Sometimes other workers can be bitchy about it - 'oh, she didn't really get raped' sort of thing. She's using that as an excuse' and it's not an excuse, it's actually happened to you. I think you need some sort of support or someone you can speak to about what's actually happened to you.

Support that's right leaves you:

• feeling believed;
• knowing that it's not your fault;
• feeling reassured and validated;
• more able to make your own decisions;
• with your privacy, confidentiality and decisions respected;
• feeling that your wellbeing is more important than the wellbeing of the perpetrator, your workplace or anyone else
• having faith that someone will stick up for you and act on your behalf if and when you need it.

Counsellor/Advocates who work in Centres Against Sexual Assault (CASA) know how to give good support. If a sexual assault has happened in the last 7 days, a CASA will see you within 24 hours of contacting them.

In control - out of control!

There is no 'right way' to respond to a rape - during or after, short term or long term. Responses to violence or sexual assault can include shock, disorientation, fear, humiliation and feeling degraded - you might feel like crying but you might also feel like laughing madly or you might feel nothing. What you feel has nothing to do with your work, past experience of sexual assault or the amount of sexual experience you've had. Sexual assault is usually experienced as a life threatening event; after a sexual assault some workers have experienced one or more of the following feelings or effects:

• a feeling of 'nothingness' - a sort of altered state, as though it happened to someone else;
• feeling 'dirty' (or getting into excessive cleaning rituals);
• sadness, loss and grief (because your right to control your own body was violated);
• depression or feeling hopeless;
• feeling the need to be 'silent' about what happened or that you must 'go on as normal';
• behavioural problems and problems in your relationships;
• picking up, going back to old addictions or getting into some new addiction;
• nightmares or flashbacks;
• not wanting to touch anyone or be touched;
• not wanting to work,being gripped by fear that you won't want to work again;
• taking on many more clients than is normally okay for you;
• self blaming;
• self harming through slashing up, abusing yourself or doing sex when you don't want to or feeling that you're 'only good for sex';
• fears or phobias (inspired by violence associated with sexual assault);
• taking risks with yourself and your health that you normally wouldn't take, such as doing jobs without a condom;
• relief that you survived;
• ripped off and pissed off!

These feelings may last a short time or a long time. If you don't experience any of those feelings or effects after a sexual assault, that's okay too! Talk to a Centre Against Sexual Assault about your best options for counselling - through a CASA, a private counsellor or a counsellor in a community centre. Or contact RhED.

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Disclaimer Copyright Updated: 24 Sep 2009