Myths and facts

Home: Survivors: For Teenagers: My body belongs to me

Myth - It's really the mother's fault, because she should protect the child.
Fact - Women are often accused of not protecting the child in cases of incest, whether or not they know about it. This attitude allows the real offender to avoid responsibility for his actions, and shifts the blame to the woman. Even where the mother does know about the abuse, she may not be able to believe it is happening, or she may feel powerless to stop it.

Myth - Sex offenders are just dirty old men.
Fact - Research shows that the majority (7I%) of sex offenders are under 35 years of age. A lot of child sexual assault offenders are teenagers.

Myth - Men who sexually molest boys are homosexuals.
Fact - Most men who molest boys are heterosexual. There is no evidence that homosexual men abuse boys any more often than heterosexual men.

Myth - Girls enjoy sexual attention from adults and anyway it wouldn't harm her.
Fact - Studies show that sexual abuse has many harmful effects on children, which victims often need help and support to overcome. A lot of girls are frightened, especially when they have been threatened; many are confused, because they might enjoy some aspects of the relationship, and feel guilty about it; for most children, the effects are negative.

Myth - If the man's wife wasn't frigid he wouldn't have to have sex with the child.
Fact - This popular myth is based on the belief that men have 'uncontrollable' sexual urges, and it is the wife's duty to see that the man's sexual needs are met. It enables the blame to be transferred to the woman once again. Men can and must control their sexual urges.

Myth - They never said no, or tried to stop the abuse, so it's the child's fault if they're abused.
Fact - It's always the offender who is responsible, whatever happened.

Myth - Girls 'invite' abuse by being seductive.
Fact - Girls sometimes act in a 'sexy way' because they have learned that this kind of behaviour will get them attention. But no girl or boy wants to be sexually assaulted. Adults have power over children, and they must not abuse this power.

Myth - Incest and sexual abuse only occurs in poor families.
Fact - Incest occurs in all types of families, rich or poor, large or small, well educated or not.

Myth - Incest is quite acceptable in some cultures.
Fact - There is no evidence to support this idea, although the cultural significance of incest varies in different cultures.

Myth - It's not the sexual abuse that is harmful, it's all the fuss that adults make and the welfare and legal system that is the problem.
Fact - It's true that intervention by legal, medical and welfare personnel can be distressing for a child, but this shouldn't be used as an excuse by people to allow the abuse to continue. In surveys of sexual abuse victims, most children described negative effects during the time they were abused.

Myth - Beware of strangers.
Fact - Research findings vary, but between 70% and 96% of offenders are known to their victims. In one study, 43% of girls and I7% of boys were sexually assaulted by a family member. Boys are more likely to be assaulted by an acquaintance. Most abuse occurs in the child's own home or in the home of the offender.

Myth - Children and young people lie or fantasize about sexual assault.
Fact - Many adults prefer to believe this, rather than accept the truth. This makes it very difficult for children and young people who try to report sexual abuse. In 98% of reports by children, their statements are found to be true.

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Disclaimer Copyright Updated: 11 Jan 2011