Abuse from strangers

Home: Survivors: For Teenagers: My body belongs to me

The idea that some strange weirdo is going to jump out and rape you on a dark night is not a true picture of how most sexual abuse happens.

Abuse from strangers is much less common than you might think, but it does go on.

Being followed

If you are walking in the street and notice that a car is following you, there are several things you can do.

• Turn around and look the driver straight in the eye, and yell out "Get lost you creep!". Then write down the make of car, colour and number plate. Let him see you doing this. If he sees that you are not afraid, and you're in control of the situation, he will most likely take off. Don't approach the car. Keep a distance between you and him by staying on the footpath.

• If he doesn't go away, then go to the nearest house, preferably one with signs of childrens toys on the lawn, or kids washing on the line. Knock and explain that you are being followed, and ask if you can use the phone to call your parents or the police. Nowadays, some people are reluctant to let strangers into their homes. If this is the case, ask them to phone for you. You may need to take a taxi home. If you don't have the fare on you, ask the driver to wait while you go inside and borrow money from your family or friend.

• If you think someone is walking behind you but you're not sure if he's following you, try crossing the road and even walking in the opposite direction.

• If he keeps following you, try confronting him. Spin round and get really angry. Yell at him "How dare you follow me! Piss off! I'm going to phone the police."

• If there is another woman or a couple in the street, tell them what is happening. Make sure you point to the man, so that he knows that other people are aware of what he's up to. Report his description and behaviour to the police. If they don't catch him this time, chances are that they will in the future.

• Don't try hiding behind a tree or in a shop and hoping that he'll go away. He might hang around for ages.

• If you are near to home you might want to run for safety. If you're wearing high heels, kick them off so you can run fast.

Indecent assault

You might be in a tram or train or in some other public place, and a strange man puts his hand on your skirt or rubs your breasts. Use some strong loud verbal self defence. Sometimes these men don't even look at you while they're molesting you. Confront them, get angry, and draw attention to them so that other girls are warned.

Peeping tom

Some men get enjoyment out of looking through windows while women are getting undressed, showering or moving around the house. They are often scared and pathetic, and will peep after dark so they can't be seen. If this happens to you, don't let him get his kicks by watching you secretly. Call the police or a neighbour. Generally speaking, if you are getting undressed in front of a window that opens onto the street, it's a good idea to make sure you have pulled the curtains.

The obscene phone caller

This man phones you up and talks about having sex with you, or asks you about your underwear, or maybe he just breathes heavily down the phone. He is trying to make you scared, and is using your fear or panic to get sexually excited. He is often masturbating while talking. You can deal with him quite quickly. Don't get scared, and don't let him go on and on. Put the phone down. If he keeps ringing you, take control by blowing a loud whistle or yelling down the phone.

Advice from TELSTRA on unwelcome calls:

• Always hang up immediately on the unwelcome caller.
• To find out more please contact Telstra's National Unwelcome Calls Centre on 1800 805 996 (Mon - Fri, 9am to 5pm, excluding National Public Holidays).
• Malicious calls which threaten life or property should be reported immediately to the police on 000.
  More on this see the 'unwelcome calls' pages on the telstra website.

The Flasher

Some men try to shock you by showing you their penis or masturbating in front of you. Sometimes the flasher will approach quite young children and expose his penis, which can be quite scary and disturbing for them. If a man does this to you, don't let him get away with it. He wants to make you scared, get angry instead. Tell him to put it away. "How dare you carry on like that you jerk! I'm reporting you to the police!" and do just that. Sometimes this kind of man doesn't stop at just flashing. If you report him, the police have more chance of identifying him and making an arrest.

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Disclaimer Copyright Updated: 13 Aug 2009