The nature of violence against women

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Contents

• The nature of violence against women
• Common myths some Christians have about violence against women.
• How can we start to work for change?

The nature of violence against women

Violence against women is uninvited and non-consenting. The victim is left to survive the experience and to cope with the various consequences of being violated.

Sheralyn and other church members are concerned about how to stop the co-ordinator of the welcoming committee. He gives sleazy hand shakes and forces hugs on women during the passing of peace.

Kathy went to the chaplain for counselling about her marriage. He said many helpful things when she cried or expressed anger. At one session, when she spoke of feelings of loneliness, the chaplain hugged and began kissing her on the face and lips. When Kathy resisted with questions, he tried to convince her that a sexual union was 'God given and would help her recover.'

Violence against women creates an intimidating and hostile environment for women and children. It frustrates and diminishes women's satisfaction with their chosen work, study and creativity.

Old Mr Jones stares at Olga and the other young women. They feel creepy and concerned about his grandchildren's safety.

The treasurer 'talks' to the women's breasts when they come to have cheques signed or expenditures approved.

Violence against women humiliates the victim and asserts the power of the perpetrator.

Sandra is 'erratic' in her attendance at church. Sandra is battered, emotionally abused and forced to have intercourse (raped) by her husband. Her husband is always at church on Sunday. He is considered the 'reliable' partner of the couple.

John is vital to the choir. He is a talented soloist. He is also a well known businessman and great fundraiser. Everyone finds him kind and affable except his son who is withdrawn and afraid to sleep at night. John molests his son.

Mary was sexually assaulted by her priest. When she told the bishop, he assured Mary he would 'handle it.' Six months later the priest was still preaching and had been promoted.

Violence against women forces women and children to serve the interests, desires and needs of men, perpetuating male dominance and female submission.

Jean watched as her vicar scooped up little Theresa as she ran past. Theresa struggled and protested to be put down but he continued to hold her against her will, asking questions and telling her what a pretty dress she had. Theresa's expression suddenly changed as if to swallow her rage, hoping that by giving in he would let go of her. Jean wanted to shout, 'put her down, she doesn't like it!'.

Robyn became angry when she attended a play in which a rape scene was presented as a beautiful male dance. The audience clapped, including her church friends.

Violence against women forces women and girls to hide their negative responses to violations and remain silent in order to survive.

When Judy told her parents that the confirmation teacher kept patting her on the bottom, her father told her not to be silly and not to make more out of things than they were.

Vanessa's youth leader makes remarks to the boys such as 'You don't want the girls to win do you?' When the girls object, he tells them that what he said was 'not sexist' but merely 'encouraging the boys'.

When Janis told her friend Sarah that Sarah's husband had grabbed and kissed her, Sarah's husband 'raised questions' in the congregation about Janis' state of mind.

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Common myths some christians have about violence against women

SOME BELIEVE... 'Sexual harassment can be ignored'

Studies show that when sexual harassment is ignored it tends to continue and even increase. 'Ignoring' it generally means constantly being on guard, defending one's personal space, or thinking quickly to find a response to or evasion of unwanted behaviour. Furthermore, individual women shouldn't be expected to solve harassment situations. It's the responsibility of the whole church community and institution to prevent such behaviour through developing complaints procedures and education programmes.

SOME BELIEVE... 'It's getting so you can't give a compliment anymore.'

Compliments are affirming and liked by everyone. Sexual harassment and assault are not nice or affirming for the person on the receiving end. Women often feel confused about the message behind a compliment. if your smile or response to a compliment feels forced or ambivalent, ask yourself, 'Am I feeling liked and appreciated, or am I getting a message about my 'proper' role or his intent?' If you feel wary, trust your feelings and be wary.

SOME BELIEVE... 'Women cry rape or make up stories of assault'.

This belief diminishes women's experiences of violence. It says that women cannot be trusted or believed. In fact, victims are more likely to remain silent or minimise the assault out of fear that they will not be believed and will be blamed. Some children recant after they tell about being abused. This is because they are disbelieved rather than helped by the adults whom they tell.

SOME BELIEVE... 'The church has finally embraced sexual love as God-given and good. This talk about sexual violence will put us back a few centuries'.

The issues are clearly different. Sexual love is about consent, respect and pleasure for both parties. Sexual violence is about the debilitating consequences carried by the victim. It is about power and controlling women within the rules of patriarchy. The best tonic for this concern is to learn about the issues and work for change.

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How can we start to work for change?

Be ready to EXPRESS CONCERN when someone approaches you about an experience of violence in her home or church. Your silence, disbelief or minimisation may be interpreted as condoning the violence. Don't blame the victim. Help her understand her options by referring her to one of the appropriate agencies in this booklet. Give her ongoing support or find someone else who can.

INVITE SPEAKERS from CASA's Project Anna to run a workshop in your church. Learn more about the causes, nature and prevention of violence against women. It's important to be informed before speaking out.

GATHER AROUND like-minded women. Share your concerns. Support each other. Start reading about the issues. Form an ecumenical group in your area as a support network.

MOVE IN. Promote the prevention of violence against women as a mission and budget priority. Work in pairs or a group for support.

RECLAIM the lives and voices of women in the Bible. Find out what women scholars are saying about women in the Bible. Write to Project Anna for information.

STAND BESIDE women with complaints of harassment. Ask if your congregation or corps has a sexual harassment policy and grievance procedure. If not, promote the need for one. If so, ask for a copy and evaluate its effectiveness. For criminal violence, refer the person to the appropriate agency at the back of this booklet.

GO OUT to other women in the general community. Find out what support groups exist. Visit agencies, community health centres and social workers in your local area. Find ways to support each other rather than working alone or doubling up on services and resources.

A project for the prevention of violence against women of the Church community

Project Anna is part of the Centre Against Sexual Assault (CASA House), attached to the Royal Women's Hospital, Melbourne. It is a church funded project which offers, statewide and nationally;

• education, workshops, public speaking to churches and community services
• consultation, networking, resourcing to church and community workers, members of church congregations
• advocacy, referral, information for women and men of the church community with faith and violence issues

Project Anna is named after the Biblical Anna who recognised the child Jesus as the long awaited liberator of the oppressed. For further information please contact:

Project Anna, CASA House Melbourne.

Women all over Australia are speaking out AGAINST VIOLENCE TO WOMEN. Don't be put off GAIN SUPPORT FROM LIKE-MINDED WOMEN and SPEAK OUT.
Speaking out is catching on!

Thanks to CASA House, Carlton, for permission to draw from their new publication, Desperately Seeking Justice: A Resource and Training Manual on Violence Against Women in a Culturally Diverse Community'. Special thanks to Helen Last, Mirta Gonzalez and Julie Bryant for their assistance.
Further copies of this booklet can be purchased from Project Anna, CASA House.
Graphics: The Designery Graphic Designer: Designing Hands Printing: Arena

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Sponsor

Council of the churches

Disclaimer Copyright Updated: 22 Sep 2009