Educating children

Home: Survivors: Incest & Child Abuse: It happened to me

'We have to make it okay for children to talk ... we have to make them aware that children are not to blame and that they will not be punished if they do tell.'

'We could give the message that there's someone you can tell who will believe you. Older kids could tell someone but younger kids, like four year olds, probably won't.'

'It's difficult to disclose, you tend to protect the person who's doing it. We didn't have the education. You need to educate children: don't be afraid to tell.'

'It's hard for kids to say that their father did it. There has to be more awareness that there are places they can go for help. If I had known about places where I could get supportive help when I was younger, I would have done something.'

'If children were taught from a very young age that it's wrong, what he's doing is wrong, then they're on the way to saying something about it.'

'I don't know what sex education is being taught in schools but it needs to be taught at a younger age than when I was at school. For me that would have helped. I thought it was what life was all about even though there was a lot of pain and terror. Then when I was in form one I got a book from the library and I worked out we shouldn't be doing that. I told the perpetrator (my brother) I know what you're doing and I don't want you to do it to me again.'

'In messages we give to children they need to be taught to say no ... to learn techniques of saying no.'

'The way abusers operate is based on the assumption that they own your body, they could do anything to you, so the concept of confronting an adult and saying 'no' is difficult.'

'The myths around the perpetrators' threats need to be dispelled, for example, I will go to jail, Mum will get sick, the family will break up, no one will listen to you, you will die. Strong messages would need to be given because the fears are very deep.'

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Disclaimer Copyright Updated: 21 May 2010