The long-term effects of abuse

Home: Survivors: Incest & Child Abuse: It happened to me

The effects of child sexual abuse do not cease when the abuse stops, but continue into adulthood. Research indicates that the long-term negative effects of abuse are lessened if the abuse is detected and stopped during childhood and the child receives assistance and support. Lasting emotional distress is most likely when disclosure is met with disbelief or where the abuse remains undetected.

Most of the survivors consulted during this study received no assistance as children and had only begun to deal with the abuse as adults. Many had been encouraged by the abuser to see themselves as bad or dirty, or to blame for the abuse, and, not surprisingly, this had a lasting impact on their self-esteem and often on their adult relationships. Some also developed alcohol or psychiatric problems as a consequence of the abuse.

Recovering from sexual abuse is a complex process. There are a number of stages survivors pass through as part of the recovery process and the survivors involved with the consultation were at different stages of this process. Some had only recently begun to remember and talk about the abuse. Others were coming to understand that the abuse was not their fault, or were directing anger at their abuser and those who did not protect them. Others were close to a stage of resolution and moving on. Most of the survivors did express optimism about the possibility of resolving the major issues associated with the abuse if the necessary help and support were received.

'Any sexual activity between an adult and child is completely unacceptable and damaging to the child.'

'Child sexual abuse effects you for the rest of your life. It causes long-term harm. People don't understand the need for long-term counselling.'

'I shudder to think of the millions of people who have never used their full mental capacity in making this a better world because they were using all their energy for mere survival as a result of childhood abuse.'

'People think it's something that will effect your childhood. I didn't even start to deal with it until I was twenty-five and then it was a catastrophe. Professionals don't understand the impact on you in the stages during your life.'

'A great many people have no conception of the effect on us as parents nor the effect on you as the child, our sense of helplessness. I find in the community people have no idea of the effect on you in your job, or everyday life.'

'Adults, even some family members, make the comment to me that it happened years ago and it shouldn't be having an effect on your life any more. People have a thing that you can forget about it.'

'The effects of sexual abuse do not stop when the abuse stops. Abuse hurts for life and children are not the resilient little people they are thought to be.'

'I believe most of the problems older kids have with drugs and prostitution are related to what happened to them when they were younger. If they had someone to deal with there and then, rather than find out their own way, a lot of them wouldn't be on the streets later on.'

'I have days when I can't stop crying and I need to get on the phone and talk to someone. Other days I bash the hell out of a shed and throw rocks into the river.'

'Seeking help is the beginning of personal growth. You can become a contributor to society rather than the other way around. It's a rite of passage.' 'It's a life journey, it stays with you forever.'

'But its significance shifts, it's not as primary.'

'That's my aim, to have a little space for it and that's where it belongs.'

'There is an enormous cost to the community, drug and alcohol abuse, psychiatric problems, either self-abuse or abuse of others. Something happens one way or the other. You either abuse yourself or abuse your child.'

'I don't think I could cope in a relationship now. I was with my husband for ten or eleven years. He physically, emotionally and sexually abused me. My main fear was what I was going to do if I left. How was I going to live. I know for myself it was petrifying. When I did it, I was fine.'

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