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Information for victims of rape
Home: Survivors: Information on Rape: Information for victims of rape
Contents
- What should I do if I am raped?
- What happens if I attend a Crisis Care Unit?
- Sexual assault and feelings
Introduction
This section is designed to give those of you who have been or currently are the victims of sexual assault (together with the friends, family and perhaps school counsellors who are supporting you) information which should be of use to you.
You will find a list of all Centres Against Sexual Assault (CASAs) in the contacts section. From them you will be able to obtain more detailed information and assistance. If you don't feel like speaking to anybody at a Centre Against Sexual Assault at the moment, there is material to read. If you do feel like speaking to someone, your local Centre is only a phone call away. You do not need to give your name or any identifying information to the worker to whom you speak. When you are ready to seek more advice, it is an easy matter to make an appointment.
The one thing to remember is that what you have gone through, and are going through, is very common in our society. You are not alone.
What should I do if I am raped?
Soon after you have been raped, you should:
- Try to get to a safe place;
- If you feel you are still in danger, call the police;
- Contact a friend or someone in your family you can trust. It's best to have someone with you for support if you go to the hospital, a doctor, or the police;
- Ring or go to a Centre Against Sexual Assault or local hospital. You may be injured or in shock after the rape - some medical attention is important;
- It is best not to wash, shower, have a bath or change your clothes before seeking help. You may destroy evidence which could be used if you decide later to report the rape to the police;
- Contact the police as soon as possible after the rape if you want them to take action. [Girls' Own: p.68].
What happens if I attend a crisis care unit (CCU)?
As a victim of sexual assault, you have the right to attend a Crisis Care Unit (usually at a local hospital which is affiliated with a Centre Against Sexual Assault).
Generally, if you report the sexual assault to the police, they will be responsible for taking you to a CCU, and for notifying your local CASA that they are bringing you to the hospital. This is so that a Counsellor/Advocate from the CASA can be there to meet you when you arrive. She will make things as easy as possible for you once you are there. You will have the opportunity to talk to her about legal, medical and support options when you arrive at the CCU.
There are two kinds of medical examinations you may choose to have after being sexually assaulted. One is for the purpose of gathering evidence of the crime. That one is called a forensic medical examination, and will be discussed in the next paragraph.
The other medical examination is to ensure that your health is taken care of. This examination can take place at your own doctor's practice if that is what you would prefer. It is not unusual to receive physical injuries, or to contract sexually transmitted diseases during sexual assault. If you are afraid that you may be pregnant as a result of the assault, you should be offered the, 'morning after pill'.
The forensic medical examination is conducted for the purpose of gathering evidence of the crime which has been committed. The Counsellor/Advocate will tell you about your rights in this process. For instance, you have the right to have a person of your choice with you at all times to support you; the right to have an interpreter present if that is necessary; and to have everything that is involved with the examination explained to you. The Counsellor/Advocate will ensure that whatever decisions need to be made, are made by you. Her role is to make you feel as comfortable as it is possible to feel about this whole process, and to advocate on your behalf with the medical personnel and police.
Sexual assault - Feelings
There is no one, typical response to sexual assault. Although some reactions are common to all victims, others are individual responses. How you feel will differ over time.
At the time of the rape it is most common to feel fear, but reactions to this fear differ. Some women will feel paralysed, literally unable to move or even think until the rape is over. This is an extreme form of shock, as experienced by soldiers in battle. Others will be stimulated by the fear to fight their attacker. These two responses, and everything that lies in between (trying to talk the man out of raping you, trying to run away, experiencing physical reactions such as vomiting during the attack) are common to human beings when they are under attack. They are the body's way of trying to cope with and survive the attack [Johnson 1985: p.31].
As you recover you may experience a multitude of feelings. For the first week or so after the rape, it is common to experience acute distress and severe anxiety. There can be a feeling of disbelief in what has happened, an attempt to 'get back to normal' as quickly as possible, to not think about it anymore. Women may feel devoid of emotion, or feel full of emotions which cannot be contained.
There are practical things to be done during the days immediately following the rape. They will help in the process of recovery. Women/men may choose to contact a Centre Against Sexual Assault (CASA), to discuss with a worker what has happened, and to seek information on the best way to proceed. The decision may be to attend a CCU.
At this early stage in recovery, it is important that women/men are given access to the information they need in order to make the best decisions for them.
When you telephone your local CASA you will not be pressured into doing anything you do not want to do. There will be a sympathetic and supportive person on the other end of the phone who will listen to you and explain whatever you need to know. The kind of support provided by CASAs will greatly assist in your recovery.
As the weeks and months pass during the process of recovery, there will be times when you forget the rape. It is a time in which `your mind is making sense of the events of the rape, how you feel about others and how you feel about yourself', which is a protective mechanism [Johnson 1985: pp.37-8].
At other times you may experience many emotions. These could include:
Guilt
It is very unfair, but for this particular crime it is the victim who often experiences guilt, rather than the criminal. This is because we have been brought up to live our lives in a certain way, taught to be careful about where we go and with whom, even what we should wear. We are taught to be aware of attack. So if we are raped, other people may ask questions that seem to point the finger of blame at us, for example 'Why didn't you lock the door?' or 'What were you doing there?'.
Many victim/survivors of rape search within themselves for a 'reason' for the rape, when the only reason is that a man decided to rape you.
'it is extraordinary the lengths to which we go to blame ourselves for perfectly normal behaviour rather than blame the man for his violent and criminal act - an act which he chooses to commit.' [London Rape Crisis Centre 1984: Ch. 2].
In the words of one victim:
'I kept going over the whole thing again and again. Looking at every detail for what I did. I was convinced it was my fault ... that if I had not gone to the party, had not had a few drinks, had not talked to him, it would not have happened ... It took me a long time to see that I didn't do anything wrong.' [Unsourced photocopy, Loddon Campaspe CASA. 'Psychological Impact of Sexual Assault']
Betrayal
If the man who sexually assaulted you is someone you trusted, betrayal is another common feeling for victims of this crime.
'Trust is the main issue here, trust betrayed often by those they believed had their best interests at heart.' [CSV booklet: p.4].
Shame
After being sexually assaulted, it is natural for women/men to feel differently about their bodies. Some feel that their bodies are dirty. They spend a lot of time washing themselves and, if they were raped in the home, cleaning their home.
Nightmares
Nightmares may be another response to sexual assault. They may occur immediately after the rape, and they may last for many years, sometimes reappearing as a 'flashback' which seems to take you back to the event and re-live it.
'Flashbacks' are like nightmares, though they happen while you are awake. They are a re-experience of the sexual assault that has happened to you. One survivor has described flashbacks as:
'like viewing slides in a slide show. When the slide goes by too fast, but slow enough to give you some parts of the image.' [North East CASA]
There are usually signs that a flashback is coming. They are like the signs of an anxiety attack, and include things like your heart racing and pounding, feeling like you are going to have a heart attack, feeling a sense of creeping doom, feeling like you are going to black out, feeling trapped. But don't despair, the feelings always pass, and you are not going mad.
Workers at your local CASA can explain ways to help you through these flashbacks. Some of these may include 'going with' the flashback rather than trying to avoid it, then once it has finished, focussing some activity around it - write about the flashback, or visualise a beautiful place you know, and feel your body relaxing as you imagine you are there. Other helpful ways of dealing with these feelings are to listen to relaxation tapes or soothing music, cuddling your teddy bear, asking a trusted friend for support, or taking some physical exercise such as a long walk.
Sadness/helplessness
Feeling helpless, powerless or isolated can lead to you feeling depressed. Feeling depressed is commonly associated with sexual assault. It is, however, depression with a cause. Once you recognise it, say to yourself 'this is depression and I am feeling depressed for a good reason' [London Rape Crisis Centre 1984: p. 19]
Not wanting to be touched
Women and men very frequently feel that they do not want to be touched once they have been raped. This is easy to understand, however it may make living in a sexual relationship with another person difficult. Your partner may or may not be understanding of the trauma you have gone through. There are counsellors at a CASA or community health centre that can assist your partner with their thoughts or feelings.
Anger
Not surprisingly, anger is one of the strongest feelings many victims feel about the assault. The anger may not be immediate, but once it comes, it may last for years.
Girls and women in particular may fear their feelings of anger. They can be unsure about how to express it, or whether to express it at all. It is often bottled up inside. Women have 'traditionally' been brought up not to express their feelings of anger. They may also be afraid that if they express their anger they may be physically or verbally abused in return, or that a relationship that is important to them will break down.
Anger can also be a feeling that will help you to heal.
"Anger does not have to be an uncontrolled, uncontrollable phenomenon. As you welcome your anger and become familiar with it, you can direct it to meet your needs - like an experienced rider controlling a powerful horse." [Bass & Davis 1988 - p. 127]
Anger can empower you; it can give you a sense of relief and release. Working with a counsellor can assist you to more fully express these feelings.
It is important to remember that the only cause of the assault was its perpetrator. Your friends, family or partner cannot know exactly what you are going through, and will probably be inexperienced supporters. They may lack the necessary information which will help them to support you. They may also need support for themselves.
If you would like any more information on any of these feelings, your local CASA will be happy to discuss this with you or to photocopy an article for you and send it to you in the mail.
To contact a CASA worker either email us at ahcasa@rwh.org.au, ring the Sexual Assault Crisis Line (Victoria) 1800 806 292 or contact us via the secasa myspace page.
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Disclaimer
Copyright Updated: 24 Sep 2009
The South Eastern Centre Against Sexual Assault acknowledges the traditional Aboriginal owners of country throughout Victoria. We pay our respects to them, their culture and their Elders past, present and future.