Talking about telling

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If children are aware of the risk of sexual assault and they are given options and plans of action it is far easier for them to tell because they will know that telling is their biggest weapon. Some options to teach children are outlined below.

1. Codes

It is generally helpful for children to have a way of alerting you to an urgent need in a private way. Allow the child to choose their own code to use in an emergency when they need your attention. This can be helpful when children see adults as always busy and gives them the message that their needs are very important. A second code can be used if you are delayed and someone has to pick them up unexpectedly. You can teach children that unless an adult says the code, they should not go with them but alert a teacher or someone in charge. Examples of codes can be numbers, letters, pets names, funny phrases etc.

It can be fun choosing the codes and reviewing them periodically with children. The greatest benefit of codes is to give children a sense of their own power in an adult world.

2. Yell and tell

It is also empowering and fun to teach children a self defence yell. This is loud and authoritative shout to be used in an emergency only. Under some circumstances it is possible to practice! Again it gives children permission to put themselves first and gives them options in a range of dangerous situations.

3. Emergency people

Develop with your children a list of people you would both go to in an emergency. This can be very useful if the adult identifies people they would go to as well. This can provide a sense of safety for children.

It is important to stress that they need to keep on telling until someone believes them. It can be useful to tell children that some adults are not very good at listening to children just as adults think that children are not very good at listening to adults!

4. Phone numbers

Teach children about 000 emergencies and help them learn how to dial the number and provide their address and telephone number. You can also encourage them to learn parents work numbers and those on their list of emergency people. This can be revised regularly and made fun by making it a quiz.

5. Emergency plans

Teach children about emergencies in general and what should be done. Make it clear that if someone tries to or does touch them in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable it is an emergency and they should tell you (or someone else if you are not available) as soon as possible.

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