Help and support

Home: Survivors: For Males: It happened to us

'I guess the process of identifying with people who have also suffered sexual abuse. That's what I found the most helpful and running a fairly close second to that is professionals who may not have been sexually abused and who have really good information and really good sources of strategy.'

The strongest message from the survivors was that assistance needs very much to be geared to the needs of the individual.

Many found themselves frustrated by the lack of sensitivity they encountered. Support by individual professionals was often geared towards female survivors, although many men said that meaningful help and support is available. Individual counselling worked well for some although the costs were often more than they could afford.

Others benefited greatly from the Centres Against Sexual Assault (CASAs) while in some cases survivors had used a combination of supports.

Many had attended support groups which provide an opportunity for survivors to share their experiences with others and in most cases were generally felt to be of great value. Again these also needed to be responsive to the needs of the individual and some survivors had shopped around before finding the group or counsellor who suited them.

'The men's group was pretty petrifying the first time I turned up there but that turned out pretty good too.'

'I was really lucky that I found a good counsellor first off. I had a female counsellor.'

'Basically being in a group with other men and trying to deal with the unexpected caused anxiety.'

'The group had survivor facilitators and non-survivor facilitators but even the non-survivor facilitators were sort of in tune with what was going on. I think that training helps to deal with it a bit better.'

'The best thing I have ever done is to go and look for support because it is very hard to do it on your own.'

'I find counselling, individual counselling which I need more and wish more of, also group therapy, helps me to find out and hear that the thoughts that I have are not warped, they are common to all survivors - was one of the biggest things that's happened in my life.'

'I have actually repressed my memories and I needed to find someone with a more in-depth knowledge of psychological issues associated with trauma.'

'Groups, that was the first time that I also learnt that other guys had the same sort of problems that I had.'

'I have been to a number of groups. They are good and horrific. The AMAN (Against Male Sexual Assault) group was really good because it was so informal.'

'I was scared of being in the room with men because I guess I had avoided contact with men in general - I was amazed by the sense of a common experience with the guys. It was extremlely validating and made me think I am not crazy after all.'

'Counselling gave me a sense of hope and I decided not to kill myself.'

'TELSASA (now Victorian Sexual Assault Crisis Line) - they are fantastic. There have been times, even in the middle of the night, when I felt really upset about something, and I have rung them up and they have been extremely supportive. It's a great service.'

'I can't say that it doesn't depress me at times but each time I spoke about it it got easier and easier.'

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