Impact of abuse - Sexual relationships

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'Each time you thought about having sex with your wife it was confusing or it made you remember the whole thing over again. It was like a trigger.'

Research into the long term impact of child sexual abuse on females tells us that it can have a major impact on their sexual relationships as adults.

The experiences of contributors tell us that male survivors can also struggle with adult sexual relationships and their own sexual feelings.

Many reported having flashbacks during sexual intimacy, while others felt asexual, or confused about their sexuality.

Two of the contributors to the booklet chose not to have sexual relationships at present because it made them feel too uncomfortable. Two contributors are gay. Of the remainder most are heterosexual although some have no clear sexual identity.

Childhood feelings of shame, anxiety and fear often surfaced and some survivors dealt with this by becoming hesitant and distant in their sexual relationships.

'To expose myself as a sexual being was just totally threatening.'

'I feel very angry about it, the fact that my sexuality has been taken away from me.'

'It wasn't until the middle of last year that I finally accepted my sexuality and who I was because I guess it paled into insignificance compared to the abuse, the issue of being gay was not a big deal compared to the abuse of my childhood.'

'I was extremely promiscuous, sort of over-compensating.'

'Sex was always dirty to me and I thought why is that dirty to me? I just put it down to having sexual problems, I didn't know until six years ago. All my life I have lived a whole bloody life not understanding why having sexual intercourse with a woman in a loving relationship to me was dirty and horrible and it used to make me feel yucky.'

'Confused sexual identity, maybe I am homosexual. I've had a homosexual experience and hated myself even more, I couldn't win either way, I felt terrible afterwards.'

'I've never been virgin.'

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