Impact of abuse - Masculinity

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'It was a downward spiral where it became almost impossible to function socially or to feel any pride in myself as a male. There was nothing about being a male that seemed respectful - my abusers were disgusting and I hated myself for being a male also.'

Many of the survivors struggled with community expectations of them as men. Their uncertainty and confusion which perhaps reflects what many men feel, was exacerbated by their abuse experience. Relating to other men when they had been abused by a male was difficult and threatening.

Many did not have a strong sense of being a male, their experiences equating 'maleness' with abuse and aggression.

'I am at a loss in one sense with the concept of masculinity which is all skewed and how do I place it in my life, because I move in a social circle where there is a great emphasis put on masculinity, and I am never quite sure what I am supposed to do.'

'I want a concept of what it is to be human, what it is to be a person but I don't want to get into masculinity, I think we can waste a lot of time defining and putting ourselves into categories, based on our genitals.'

'No identity with being a man, I thought of men as being of the opposite sex to me. I think I have been aware all my life about this sort of masculinity crap that we are fed but you still absorb it.'

'I'm learning to relate to males because it means half my life is missing, means I am not relating to me. That's absolutely essential because if I can't accept males, I can't accept myself as a male or as a person really.'

'Men do bad things to you, I don't trust men. I really don't trust men. I think most men are bastards. I have very little respect for most men.'

'I would try to prove I was alright with the women. I have heaps and heaps of women friends whereas not a lot of male friends.'

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