Long-term effects of abuse

Home: Survivors: For Males: It happened to us

'I came to think that I was totally worthless as a person.'

The more we learn about child sexual abuse the more we can take steps to prevent it. The effects of abuse do not stop when the abuse stops, they can continue into adulthood. If, however, we respond to child victims by being willing to believe them and take action to stop the abuse early on, this will help lessen the impact on the adult lives of survivors.

The men we interviewed felt that the abuse had a major effect on their lives and many had gone through periods of severe depression, alcohol and drug abuse. Many felt frustration and anger. However, there was also a strong sense of optimism about the future as the negative impact of the abuse lessened over time; particularly if they had sought counselling or support.

Generally, they saw themselves as being at different stages of recovery from the abuse and this was reflected in the range of responses and emotions expressed during the interviews.

'I was very bitter, very angry but not allowed and not able to express the anger and bewilderment. Why? What happened? What did I do to deserve this?'

'I understand it's not my fault, it's not my responsibility but it's something that I did feel.'

'It's taken me about two years to get to the point where I have stopped thinking that I have made it all up, that I was crazy.'

'It's something that can create behavioural problems that go over 30 years or more. It can affect your work life, your social life, married life, and so on.'

'There's always an ultimate denial of my past but it's gradually getting less and less over time.'

'I used to get to the stage where I would be suicidal because I would believe that it did not happen therefore I must be nuts. I have gotten through all that now which is a relief.'

'I am angry at having been abused, I don't have trouble tapping that anger. I find it empowering to use that anger. I try to draw strength from that anger and am trying to turn it into a positive rather than negative situation, use that energy to help continue the struggle.'

'I don't think the average [member of the] public would realise that something like that could have such a devastating and lasting effect. The effects have gone on for 30 or 40 years. Believe me, in three to four years, you don't forget. But that's what people would think.'

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