Practical help for men

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This article is written for men and assumes a male offender, however SECASA acknowledges that both men and women can be survivors of sexual abuse and that offenders can be male and female.

What can you do if you have been raped/sexually assaulted?

• Try to get to a safe place.
• If you feel you are still in danger, call the Police on 000.
• Contact a friend or someone in your family whom you can trust.
  It's best to have someone with you for support if you go to the hospital or Police.
• Contact the Police as soon as possible after the rape/sexual assault, if you want to take legal action against them.
• Ring a Centre Against Sexual Assault (CASA) or go to the local hospital, if there is no regional CASA.
• It is best not to wash, shower, have a bath or change your clothes before seeking help.
  You may destroy evidence which could be used if you later decide to report the matter to the Police.
• Contact the Sexual Assault Crisis Line (24/7) on 1800 806 292, which services all CASAs throughout Victoria after hours.

What can you do if someone you know has been raped?

• Think of HIM FIRST.
• LISTEN to HIM. Help him to work out what HE wants.
• RESPECT HIS feelings.
• TRUST what HE tells you is true.
• DO NOT PRESSURE HIM into doing anything he does not want to do.
• You may be feeling angry, hurt or sad, but at this time HE'S THE ONE WHO NEEDS SUPPORT.
• Most of all DO NOT say things like: "Why didn't you try to get away?", "Why didn't you scream?", "What can you expect, being in that situation?", "I told you not to ......"
• Make yourself familiar with the information in this section; it may help you to understand his situation.

Social implications

Men are brought up and continue to believe that rape, or sexual assault does not happen to men. Men do not usually find it easy to talk about feelings and tend to feel shame if they lose control of a situation. Men need extra support to be able to disclose any sexual assault and to believe that they have not in any way been at fault from finding themselves a victim. Being unable to defend yourself is nothing to be ashamed of. 'Freezing' can be a consequence of self preservation. Sometimes men put themselves down as not being a 'man' when unable to defend themselves through freezing in such overwhelming situations.

Things you can do

Prevention of rape and sexual assault is a community responsibility. Many of the things we can do will benefit our lives in other ways too. Start saying NO to other forms of harassment or abuse. In some circumstances, you can take legal action against sexual harassment which is not of a criminal kind, eg comments about perceived sexual orientation or your masculinity. You may seek advice from the Australian Human Rights Commission

Being more aware of how men are seen and treated generally in society helps our understanding of rape and our ability to do something about it. Think about the myths and realities of rape and sexual assault, about the ways in which people are put down, used as sexual objects and abused in society, ie, advertising, the media and pornography. Share your ideas and experiences with others, friends, family and co workers. Try to be more aware of the possibility of harassment or attack in your own home, on the street, at work, hitchhiking, on public transport. Make your home as secure as possible and take reasonable precautions for your own safety but don't try to live by a long list of do's and do not's which limit where you go, how you behave, etc. This is not a guarantee against rape or sexual assault and serves only to fill our lives with restrictions and fear.

Where to get help

Centres Against Sexual Assault

Counselling, support and information on legal, medical and Police procedures are available from Counsellor/Advocates, (female or male in some centres), see the contacts section. All CASA services are free and confidential.

Anyone who has been raped or in any way sexually assaulted can go to a CASA, whether the incident is recent or happened some time ago. It is best to telephone and to speak with a Counsellor, who can organise counselling sessions for you. You do not have to prove you've been raped or sexually assaulted or to have made a report to Police, to use this service. At some CASAs you can see either a female or male counsellor/advocate.

Each CASA can provide or refer you for medical attention. They will offer counselling, legal information and support. Many CASAs run groups for survivors of sexual assault. (Find your nearest CASA at the CASA forum website).

All services are free and confidential.

The Police

If the Police are called, they should inform you of your options and ask you for a short account of what has happened. If you wish, they will then take you to a CASA.

Medical attention

Medical care after a sexual assault is very important. You may receive medical care through a CASA, any Doctor, Community Health Centre or hospital. If you don't go to a CASA you may wish your treating Doctor to contact one for information.

You should receive treatment for any physical injury, be tested for sexually transmitted infections, and be offered preventative medication for HIV and Hepatitis B. You will need to return in two weeks to be retested for sexually transmitted diseases, and in three months for a HIV Test.

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Disclaimer Copyright Updated: 19 Mar 2011