Ways Of coping

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Acknowledge your own painful feelings and difficult thoughts. Share them with friends, partners, family or counsellors. Try writing a journal.

Talk to your child as much as possible about every aspect of what's happening to them and you. Expressing your feelings gives them permission to express theirs.

"You need to talk about every aspect of it not just once but about 5000 times".

Do everything that you can to assist your child , eg statements, crimes comp, medicals, counselling, education. This helps you feel that you are back in control.

Keep a diary (include photos, details of counselling names of relevant people), to record the things you and your child did and the details of dates and events, copies of statements. This can be helpful to give to children when they are older and need to make sense of what happened again as they grow up. Although it may seem a strange thing to do and may feel as if you are dwelling on what happened, it does have very positive results. One boy aged 11 kept everything in a folder. He said it was good to look at it again when he needed to but that it was also good to have it in one folder and put it away.

Find out as much as possible about child sexual assault. It really helps to have information. Talk to other parents and professionals. Get books and videos from the library and welfare agencies.

Seek out professional help through counsellors and support groups or start your own! If you have experienced sexual assault yourself it is a good idea to see a counsellor for yourself. You too deserve to be cared for. Try to spend some individual 'special ' time with your child doing something you both enjoy away from other demands. This benefits your relationship and gives your child a real sense of being loved. It can help you to have pleasurable experiences with your child and know how you are contributing to both your own and your childs recovery.

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Disclaimer Copyright Updated: 15 Jul 2003