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Home: Family & Friends: For Family and Friends: For parents
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Contents
Child Sexual Abuse occurs when an adult or older person uses his/her power over a child to involve them in sexual activity.
Difficulties children may experience following sexual assault
- Sleep disturbances (nightmares, fear of going to bed, wanting light on, fear of sleeping alone, waking up during night).
- Loss of appetite.
- Irritability, crankiness, short-tempered behaviour.
- Bedwetting.
- Needing more reassurance than usual, clinging to parent.
- Fears.
- Behaving as a younger child (regression).
These are normal signs of upset. Your child may have some of these problems or none at all. They will usually last a few weeks. Try and notice all changes in usual behaviour and discuss them with your social worker.
Helping your child following the assault
- Give your child reassurance and support that she/he is okay and safe.
- Respond to questions or feelings your child expresses about the incident with a calm matter of fact attitude, without pressuring the child to talk about it.
- Try to follow the regular routine around the home, (expect usual chores, bedtimes, rules etc.).
- Take the time to talk over your feelings privately with someone you trust - a friend, a relative, a social worker. Express your feelings. Do not discuss the situation repeatedly in front of your child.
- Your child may express his/her feelings about the incident by playing games about it. This can decrease his/her anxiety about the incident and is usual.
- Respect your child's privacy by not telling lots of people or letting people question her/him.
- Let brothers and sisters know that something has happened but that she/he is safe now and will be O.K.
- Give your child's teacher some information about the assault, so that she/he will be able to notice any behavioural changes your child may have.
- If your child has to give evidence in court, discuss with your social worker the ways of preparing him/her to cope with this.
- Tell your child to inform you immediately if the offender attempts to assault or bother her/him in any way again.
Messages for your child
I believe you.
It is not your fault, no matter what has happened.
The offender is to blame for what has happened.
The adult or big person knew what they were doing was wrong.
Adults can do wrong things like assaulting kids.
The adult or big person knew that this was a bad secret.
Now that I know, I will do everything I can to keep you safe.
I know about other children who have had this happen.
As far as possible I will try to limit the number of people who know about it.
Remember, make no promises you can't keep.
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