Child and adolescent sexuality

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By Toni Cavanagh Johnson.

This article is reproduced with the author's kind permission. No part of it may be copied for any reason without the permission of the author.

Some and probably all children are capable of what appear to be sexual responses even in earliest years. Most infants probably explore and fondle their own genitals, but not in a goal directed way. As a child grows, masturbation to orgasm becomes more and more likely. Researchers and experts disagree on how many children masturbate before adolescence. Most children seem to have the biological capacity to derive pleasure from self-stimulation.

Sexual experiences with the other sex are common during childhood. Children often kiss, touch and play doctor. Sexual contacts with the same sex are more common than opposite sex contacts. Like adults, children appear to have sexual thoughts. It is not clear how common sexual themes are in children's fantasies.

Many theorists believe that sexual desires and behaviours are innate. However, sociologists argue that sexual behaviour is not determined but learned according to cultural scripts. Because children lack sexual scripts they experience genital activity differently than do adults. Children learn certain values related to sexuality that lay a foundation for later sexual development. The most important determinants of sexual patterns, expectations and responses occur during adolescence.

For most children the primary source of information about sex is friends.

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Most males learn to masturbate during adolescence (approximately 20% masturbate before 13); fewer females do. Some sex therapists believe that girls who do not masturbate miss an important step in their sexual development, since masturbation provides an opportunity to learn how one's body responds to erotic stimulation.

Because boys usually masturbate and girls often do not (not true in the United States), boys are more likely to learn a sexuality that is genitally focused. Boys learn their sexuality in a context that is homosocial. The audience bestows a sense of esteem on the boy. Girls who masturbate almost always discover it on their own. Girls generally talk among themselves about masturbation and do not perform in front of others. There is no peer support for sexual exploration or reward for reaching orgasm.

Boys emerge from adolescence both sexually advantaged and disadvantaged. They are practiced at having orgasms and comfortable with the physical aspects of sex. They are less adapt at handling emotional relationships with girls.

Girls in the United States have orgasms from masturbation - significantly more before the age of 13.

Normal sexual exploration during childhood

Normal sexual exploration during childhood is an information gathering process wherein children explore each other's bodies, visually and tactually, (e.g. playing doctor) as well as explore gender roles and behaviors (e.g. playing house). Children involved in normal sex play are of similar age, size and developmental status and participate on a voluntary basis. While siblings engage in mutual sexual exploration, most sex play is between children who have an ongoing mutually enjoyable play and/or school friendship. The sexual behaviors are limited in type and frequency and occur in several periods of the child's life. The child's interest in sex and sexuality is balanced by curiosity about other aspects of his or her life. Normal sexual exploration may result in embarrassment but does not usually leave children with deep feelings of anger, shame, fear or anxiety. If the children are discovered in sexual exploration and instructed to stop, the behavior generally diminishes, at least in the view of adults. The affect of the children regarding the sexual behavior is generally lighthearted and spontaneous. The types of behaviors engaged in may include kissing, hugging, peeking, touching and/or exposing of genitals, and perhaps simulating intercourse. Less than 4% of children engage in or attempt to engage in oral sex, sodomy or vaginal intercourse.

© Toni Cavanagh Johnson Ph.D. 1993

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