Aggression

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Aggression in children after sexual assault tends to be related to fear and anger. It can be a direct communication that states "I am never going to be hurt again". Anger is a healthy response and a necessary part of the recovery process from any trauma. It needs to be expressed in a safe and constructive way with firm limits against hurting your self or others. To do this, anger needs to be acknowledged and recognised by the child and the adult. A child needs opportunities to discharge their anger. If this, for whatever reason, does not happen then anger is likely to come out through aggression. This causes the child more problems as their aggression prevents other people seeing or understanding the child's needs.

Aggression also stems from fear and a need to protect themselves from further hurt. This can be evident in boys who may believe they were weak because they did not fight off the offender. Sometimes they can make themselves feel more powerful by hurting other children or animals.

Being aggressive can also cause a child to punish themselves and confirm their low self-esteem because they have no friends and are always in trouble.

How to help

Provide safe ways of being angry through a punching bag or a dart board, smashing old saucers or throwing things. Explain the child's behaviour to them "I think you keep hitting kids in the playground because it makes you feel that Uncle John can never hurt you again - we need to think of other things that will help you feel strong." Help your child be strong with their mind not their hands. Self defence/tai chi can assist children to direct their aggression in a more positive way.

Try to see behind the aggression and recognise it as a communication. Talk about the feelings associated with the behaviour. Try and develop your child's understanding of how it feels to be a victim.

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Disclaimer Copyright Updated: 19 Aug 2009