Important things to remember

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Disclosures

If a child or adult discloses to you that s/he has been abused physically or sexually here are some suggestions to help you in supporting the person and helping her/him and yourself feel safe.

Stay calm

Don't allow your own feelings of anger, outrage or disgust to intrude. The person who has disclosed may not be able to recognise that your anger etc. is directed towards the offender, and such a reaction may reinforce the idea that the abuse is a shameful/awful/disgusting topic which should not be discussed. If you are feeling overwhelmed with emotion, it may be necessary to explain your feelings to the person, making it clear that your reaction is directed towards the abuse, not towards him/her.

Believe the person

Children rarely lie about abuse. Even in the unlikely event that the disclosure is untrue, there is still a problem which needs to be addressed. Regardless of whether the person disclosing is an adult or a child it is advisable to state very clearly that you believe her/him.

Reassure

Tell the person that you are glad s/he has told you. Say very clearly that the abuse was not her/his fault no matter what the circumstances and you understand that while the disclosure is difficult you are pleased that s/he trusts you enough to talk about the abuse.

Listen

Don't interrogate or ask questions beyond those necessary to find out whether s/he is safe from the abuse. Let the person speak at her/his pace, and reveal as much as s/he is comfortable in revealing. You do not need to know all the details, so don't ask for more than are volunteered. If the person is to be interviewed by police or protective services details will be taken then, so it is best to avoid more repetitions than necessary. Do not make promises that you cannot keep.

Establish the persons safety

The main concern is whether the person is safe from further abuse. In the case of a child who discloses physical and/or sexual abuse, intervention is most probably necessary and the abuse should be reported immediately to the on call worker, who will notify Human Services. It is advisable to ask the child who else has been told of the abuse - it is possible that the child's protection is already being taken care of. If the person disclosing is an adult, there may still be protective issues which need to be addressed, in which case you may refer the adult to any one of a variety of family violence support agencies. Even if there are no immediate protective issues, the person may need counselling or professional support and it is important that s/he is given access to these.

Confidentiality

It is important that information which is disclosed to you is treated with respect and in confidence. However, if a child or adolescent discloses to you that s/he is currently in an abusive situation, then concern for confidentiality must take second place to the young person's wellbeing. The disclosure is almost certainly a plea for help and intervention, even though the person may state the s/he does not want you to inform the authorities. This is often an attempt to avoid responsibility or blame for the following intervention. Adults have a responsibility to protect young people who are in situations where they cannot protect themselves.

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Disclaimer Copyright Updated: 18 Sep 2009