Helping victims

Home: Family & Friends: About Child Abuse: Child physical abuse

What You Can Do And Say To Help The Child Who Discloses Physical Abuse

If a child discloses physical abuse to you it is important to listen in a way that demonstrates your care and concern. The initial reaction to such a disclosure is extremely important to the child.

Discovering or suspecting that a child has been physically abused is a distressing experience. Most people feel a range of emotions including anger, shock, revulsion, disbelief, fear, sadness and protectiveness. It is important to stay calm and not express these feelings to the child, as this may prevent the child from making further disclosures. If the child senses a horrified response this may reinforce and perpetuate a child's feelings of guilt and shame.

You should:

• control expressions of panic or shock;
• tell the child that you believe him or her, a disbelieving reaction to a disclosure may be of further harm to the child;
• acknowledge that it is hard to talk about such things;
• make it clear that whatever happened is not the child's fault and that the child is not bad;
• reassure the child that they did the right thing in telling you (many abusers overtly or covertly threaten or manipulate the child to prevent disclosure);
• tell the child that you know that sometimes adults do the wrong thing and that what has happened to them has also happened to others;
• tell the child that you will do your best to support them;
• avoid pressing for details beyond those which the child freely wants to tell you as your role is to listen to the child and not to conduct an investigation;
• and tell the child what you will do next; do not make promises that you will not be able to keep, nor promise the child confidentiality. You will not be helping the child if you make promises you cannot keep, such as promising that you will not tell anyone. If you are a mandated professional you are required by law to notify child physical abuse.

If the disclosure is made by an adolescent it is important to involve them in the action you will take as much as possible to avoid leaving them feeling isolated and out of control at a time when they may feel most vulnerable.

What You Can Do If You Suspect That A Child Has Been Physically Abused But Has Not Spoken About The Abuse

If the child does not make a direct disclosure of physical abuse but refers to it indirectly, or if the presence of one or more physical or behavioural indicators lead you to wonder whether a child has been physically abused, the best action is to ask the child whether they are having any problems. Do not pressure the child to respond. Assure the child that you can be approached when they need to talk. Be sure to listen to the child when they do attempt to talk with you.

Note: Children are more likely to tell their story accurately when they tell it spontaneously.

If you form a belief on reasonable grounds that the child is in need of protection from physical abuse notify your local Protective Services office without delay.

Sponsor

Department of Human Services

Disclaimer Copyright Updated: 12 Jul 2003