Common beliefs

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There are several common beliefs, and misconceptions, about physical abuse. Some of these beliefs are specific to physical abuse, while others relate to all forms of abuse. Some beliefs are clearly untrue, whereas others may contain varying degrees of truth. When considering these beliefs, it is important to consider whether they are true, only partially true or entirely false. It is also important to be aware of how they affect our ability to acknowledge and effectively respond to the problem of child physical abuse.

Beliefs about physical abuse serve various functions. Some have the effect of normalising physical abuse or minimising its seriousness. Some try to marginalise the problem, for example, by suggesting that people who abuse their children are different from everyone else.

The following beliefs are important to consider because they are examples of some of the common excuses and rationalisations that individuals and the community rely upon when they fail to recognise and protect children from the risk of physical abuse.

'It didn't do me any harm'

Some adults discount the significance of physical abuse when they state that they were hit as children and they now believe that it did not do them any harm. This is a very subjective statement. The speaker may be referring to moderate physical punishment experienced as a child which left little or no lasting damage. Alternatively, the speaker may in fact have been seriously abused as child and as an adult, may deny the impact and significance of the abuse because they find the implications too painful to acknowledge.

Whatever the motive, this statement discounts the impact of physical abuse on children who are known to have suffered significant harm as the result of physical abuse.

'Physical abuse is not as bad as emotional abuse'

Some people minimise the significance of physical abuse by saying that we should be more concerned about emotional abuse and that this is a more serious and insidious problem.

Emotional abuse is very serious and often goes undetected. However, this does not justify physical abuse or lessen its impact. Furthermore, physical abuse is often accompanied by emotional abuse.

'Physical abuse is acceptable in some cultures'

Some people argue that severe physical punishment of children is an accepted part of some cultures and religions and therefore should not be challenged when it occurs within those cultural or religious groups.

The fact that severe physical punishment may be practised by some parents in some cultures or religions, does not make it right. We should also be wary of making generalisations about other cultures or religions. Opinions about the acceptability of physical discipline varies within cultural groups including our own.

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'Physical abuse only happens in poor families'

Child physical abuse and poverty are not synonymous. Poverty does not cause physical abuse. It is true, however, that lower socioeconomic groups are overrepresented in reported cases of physical abuse.14 Unemployment, poverty, isolation, and lower educational standards can create stressful and potentially abusive home environments. Families living in poverty also have fewer economic resources to help them cope. Poorer families are more likely to come to the attention of a range of agencies and services and to be reported to statutory authorities. However, poverty is only one of many factors: physical abuse also occurs in families where there is no poverty.

'Parents who abuse their children are abnormal'

Some people believe that only parents who are psychiatrically disturbed or intellectually disabled abuse their children.

Research into these factors has produced conflicting results 15 However, it is clear that many parents who abuse their children do not suffer from psychiatric or intellectual disabilities. Holding this belief may prevent people from facing the fact that many parents who physically abuse their children are not as different from us as we might like to think.

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'Parents who abuse their children are all young people who had children too early'

Parents who abuse their children come from all age groups. Some had children early, while others had children later in life. While having children at a young age can be a stress on parents, it does not mean that they will abuse their children.

'Parents who abuse their children don't want or love them. They don't deserve to have children'

Although they may have difficulty in displaying their love, most parents who abuse their children love their children, want them and care about their welfare.

Some parents do not realise that their behaviour could be described as physical abuse. Other parents, who are aware that they are physically abusing their child, usually feel guilty and ashamed about their behaviour. This makes it harder for them to acknowledge the problem, and to seek and accept help. Once the problem is faced however, many parents can be assisted to learn to respond to their children in more appropriate ways.

'Most parents are incapable of abusing their children. All parents have natural maternal or paternal instincts which prevent them from abusing their children'

While most parents do not abuse their children, all parents occasionally harbour strong negative feelings towards them. Most parents have also felt tempted to hurt their children at some time. While most parents are able to control these impulses and feelings, others for a variety of reasons, act on them.

Parenting is a learned skill acquired through a lifetime of experiences. We primarily learn how to parent from our own experiences of being parented as children. Expectations that parents automatically know how to nurture and care for their children serve to isolate parents from seeking assistance in developing more appropriate skills and strategies.

'Parents who were abused as children usually abuse their own children'

Physically abused children are by no means destined to grow up to become abusive parents; in fact it seems that most do not. However, the risk of becoming an abusive parent is substantially higher for an abused child than it is for a nonabused child.

'Everyone knows that children lie or fantasise about being abused. You can't believe what children tell you.'

Children, like adults, sometimes tell lies. When children lie about abuse it is usually to protect themselves or others, but rarely to accuse anybody. Evidence suggests that children are more likely to lie by denying or minimising abuse in order to protect a parent who is abusing them, than to falsely accuse a parent who has not abused them.

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Disclaimer Copyright Updated: 12 Jul 2010