Sexual assault and sexual abuse

Home: K to 12: Respect Protect Connect Program: Information for educators

This is an extract from the Respect Protect Connect workshop manual, by Timothy O'Leary and Russell Pratt.

1.4.1: Recent sexual assault

Sexual activity between partners can be respectful, loving, joyful and innocent. Unfortunately, a number of men use coercion and violence as a part of their approach to sex. A number of men have the notion that sexual harassment and assault is a 'team sport' and a 'bit of a lark'. Many reports of sexual assault and rape have included testimony of perpetrators who were disinhibited and spurred on by alcohol, drugs, or just the cheering of others. Often within our work in schools, we find the pattern of behaviour by some young men towards young women is similar, with groups of boys harassing young women whilst being applauded and bolstered by their peers within the group. This behaviour is UNACCEPTABLE.

Also of great concern are the recently emerging trends for victims to be unwittingly drugged with Rohypnol and other strong sedatives. In an effort to combat this, the NSW Government has urged states and territories to adopt national strategies, such as 'colouring' Rohypnol and warning potential victims to the presence of the drug (The Age, "Dye Plan to Beat Rape Drug ", 28.6.99).

Respect:

Respect all people's rights to feel safe wherever they may be. Neither women nor men should feel at any time that they are in danger of being drugged, raped, or assaulted.
Also respect the right of victims to have a say in the decision whether to report the assault to the police.

Protect:

Establish the safety of the victim.

Connect:

Phone SECASA on 9594 2289, for the 24 hour crisis care unit where police or friends can bring survivors of recent assaults for STD tests, crisis counselling and the morning-after pill.

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1.4.2: Date rape

"There is, of course, nothing wrong with a husband faced with his wife's initial refusal to engage in intercourse, in attempting in an acceptable way, to persuade her to change her mind, and that may involve a measure of rougher than usual handling."
(Justice Derek Bollen in regard to a rape-in-marriage case, 1992.)

The term 'date-rape' refers to a situation of rape between two people who know each other or are out together. It is a term that minimises the seriousness of what has happened. Somehow the term date rape makes it seem more 'OK' that a rape has occurred. After all, the people were on a date; they must have liked each other. Date rape is rape. It involves force, violence, control and usually physical injury to the victim.

Nearly one-third of 1000 young men aged 15 to 25 years believed it was acceptable to force a female to have sex (Family Planning S.A: cited in Lloyd, 1997);

• Ten percent of 5000 young men in a survey stated that it was acceptable to force a girl to have sex if she 'led him on';
• Fourteen percent of girls stated that their partners had tried to rape them with 7% saying that their partners had raped them;
• Five percent of respondents said that sexual and other violence was a part of normal conflict;
• Twenty percent of boys said they had been slapped, kicked or punched by their girlfriends (Gilchrist, 2000);
• In 1992, research involving over 2750 women reported that of those who had been raped, 81% did not make a report to the police, and only 38% of those reported to the police ended in arrest (DEET, 1995);
• Only one-fifth of pregnant teenagers wanted to become pregnant. Recent Australian research by Evans (cited by Colebatch, 2001a), found that sexual ignorance, lack of consent and pressure by male partners not to use condoms, were significant factors leading to teenage pregnancies; and
• Forty-five percent of pregnant teenagers had at some stage had sex when they did not want to, either to please their partner, or because they had no choice.

Respect:

Respectful, mutually consenting sex

Protect:

Safe sex is more than condoms!

Connect:

Sex is about connecting, which is on another level from just scoring.

Think the three C's - Consent, Condoms, Connection!

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1.4.3: Stalking and sexual harassment

"It takes two to flirt but only one to hurt"
(Diane Sisely, Victorian Equal Opportunity Commission.)

Sexual harassment is the unwarranted and unwanted attention of anyone in a way that involves sexual innuendo, improper comments, touches, or groping. It can also involve inappropriate pictures, e-mails and phone messages.

Eighteen percent of all complaints to the Equal Opportunity Commission (EOC) in Victoria in 1997/1998 involved sexual harassment. This figure is 12% less than in 1996/97.

Although the EOC received a 9% increase in reports of discrimination, the reduction in complaints of sexual harassment is encouraging.

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1.4.4: The difference between flirting and sexual harassment

Flirting:
Makes people feel flattered and good about themselves. It is a positive experience for both people.

Sexual Harassment:
Sexual harassment is unwanted and does not make people feel good about themselves. It is not positive for either person. Typically, the harasser feels a 'power rush'.

Respect:
Help young people to recognise the differences between flirting and sexual harassment. Point out to them that no one has to put up with unwanted sexual advances.

Protect:
If a young person comes to you with a complaint of sexual harassment, advocate on their behalf if they are disempowered and discriminated against.

Connect:
Phone the Victorian Equal Opportunity Commission.
Human Rights Office.
Phone the Office of the Public Advocate.

Stalking is a particular type of harassment that often has its origins in sexually harassing behaviour. A stalker may become infatuated with the victim and have delusions of that person returning their affection.

• One-in-fifty men are victims of stalking, one-in-twenty-five are women (Szego, 2001).
• About 70-80% of stalkers are young men. They come from a variety of socio economic and culturally diverse backgrounds (Szego, 2001).
• The biggest group of stalkers are men who have previously had a relationship with their female victim. It is these men who are most likely to become violent towards their victim (Szego, 2001).
• The remaining stalkers tend to be either: 'Incompetent Suitors" who persistently harass the victim, despite their clear and obvious rejection and distaste for the stalker, or;
• "Intimacy Seekers" who become fixated upon a public figure or celebrity. They are delusional and often socially isolated and/or alienated (Szego, 2001).

Respect:

Stalking is a crime on the increase. Early intervention is the key (Szego, 2001). There is a stalking clinic run by the Victorian Institute of Forensic Mental Health.

Protect:

Stalking victims can be traumatised and require immediate protective action.

Connect:

Check out the award winning Stalkers and Their Victims, by Professor Paul Mullen, Michele Pathe and Rosemary Purcell at your local bookshop.

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1.4.5: Young men and sexual assault

For young men, sexual assault generally occurs within a culture of secrecy, homophobia, powerlessness, and manipulation through the use of threats or bribes.

Many male survivors become withdrawn, may dissociate, and can tend to avoid conflict or macho activities. Other male survivors act out their aggression, and attempt to ward off any potential threats by maintaining an outward toughness, or by engaging in high-risk activities.

Most young male survivors find the sexual assault extremely difficult to cope with or discuss. Generally, they fear blame, insensitivity and misunderstanding if they disclose the abuse. Thus it is essential that myths about sexual abuse be dispelled when a disclosure takes place, and that their safety is ensured. Although sexual assault is never the victim's fault, it is most important to help the young man to see how they may have been tricked or frightened into feeling that it was in some part their own fault. Some young men feel stigmatised by the assault and feel that they were targeted for a reason - that there was something about them that caused the abuse to happen.

For those young men whose disclosures about sexual assault are met with disbelieving, unsupportive and non-validating responses, there is an experience of further betrayal of trust. Many of these young men then use drugs and alcohol to cope with the effects of the sexual abuse.

Respect:

Remove the secrecy, shame and stigma from sexual assault - talk about it! To be most helpful, inform young men about how perpetrators operate (targeting - grooming - tricking - abusing). Discuss the experiences of other male survivors, provide other male survivors' stories (It Happened to Me - Men Talk About Child Sexual Abuse - see 'the cafe' section)

Protect:

Make victim-safety your first priority when responding to disclosures.

Connect:

SECASA 24 hour crisis service - 9594 2289

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1.4.6: Sexual abuse

"I cannot change what happened to me, but I can change the destructive messages it gave me about myself".
(In Mullinar & Hunt, 1997; p.244)

Child sexual abuse leads to a range of feelings including shame, disempowerment and self-blame. Survivors can later find relationships and sexual intimacy fraught with issues relating to the abuse. Mullen and Flemming suggest that sexual abuse should be seen as developmentally disruptive and contributing to the risk of later social and interpersonal problems: "in the victim's sense of self-esteem, sense of agency, sense of the world as a safe enough environment, in their capacity for entering trusting intimate relationships, and finally in their developing sexuality." (1998, p.8).

Findings in the Australian Family Physician showed that sexual abuse victims/survivors were more at risk of suicide, self-harm, depression, drug use, and unsafe sex than non-abused young men and women. Sexual abuse victims were also more likely to feel helpless, worthless and hopeless. Twenty percent of the young male survivors drank alcohol on a daily basis (Button, 1999).

Sexual abuse of women by doctors is seriously under reported and incidences of sexual misconduct may be twice as high as reported according to Dr. Breen, the President of the Medical Practitioners' Board of Australia. In Ontario, Canada, mandatory reporting of doctors led to an increase in reports of sexual misconduct from 200 to 600 per year (Rollins, 2000).

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1.4.7: Sibling abuse and adolescent sex offenders

Adolescent sex offending occurs when an adolescent uses power, force or authority to involve a child, young person or adult in any form of unwanted or illegal sexual activity.

A five-year review of programs by the Children's Protection Society (CPS) has found that:

• Almost half of adolescent sex offenders had attacked younger siblings;
• A third of all child victims were attacked by people aged less than 18 years;
• Although the average age of sex offenders is 30 years, one-third of all abusers are under 18 years;
• The average age that young offenders begin assaulting is 12 years;
• Most young offenders assault multiple victims; and
• Untreated sibling abuse allowed perpetrators to develop into adult sex offenders.

Furthermore:

• Ninety percent of the young offenders knew their victims well (Milburn, 1999);
• Young offenders admitted needing help with their behaviour - "A parent telling them to stop it won't work" (Milburn, 1999);
• Some studies show that up to 70% of child sex offenders began offending under the age of 18 years (Tucci: cited in Horin & Verghis, 2000); and
• A British study identified that brothers and stepbrothers commit more sexual abuse than fathers and stepfathers (New Zealand Herald, 3.12.00).

Respect:

Adolescent sex offenders will not change their behaviour without specialised help - counsellors and student welfare coordinators must refer on to such services.

Protect:

Ensure victims are not at further risk.

Connect:

For highly successful adolescent treatment programs phone:
Adolescent Sex Offender Treatment Program - Children's Protection Society
MAPPS (Male Adolescent Program for Positive Sexuality: 900 Park St. Parkville, 3052)
Centre for Children (Australians Against Child Abuse)
SECASA Ph. (03) 9594 2289 (24-hour service)

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1.4.8: Do abused children grow up to abuse?

"Abuse is not destiny." (Mullen and Flemming, 1998: p.8)

Adam Tomison (1996) provides a detailed outline on how an experience of child abuse influences adult behaviour. In brief, he states that the majority of children who were abused and/or maltreated in childhood DO NOT grow up to be abusive as adults.

However, intergenerational transmission of maltreatment does occur for a minority of child abuse survivors. Violent and abusive behaviours are modelled as appropriate (Bandura, 1977). Abusive environmental influences may interact with a pre-existing genetic risk of antisocial behaviour, leading to violent behaviour.

Respect Protect Connect challenges young male survivors of abuse and neglect to see the abuse they suffered as abuse, thus validating their experiences and guarding against the 'inheriting' of violenct beliefs and behaviours.

Connect:

See the Contacts Section for more information on where to get help for boys who have experienced or witnessed violence and child abuse. Read Tomison (1996) on the net at: www.aifs.org.au/. For programs for boys who have witnessed or experienced abuse in their families: Rage project - Berry Street.

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1.4.9: Disability and sexual abuse

Overseas research indicates that 83% of women with disabilities will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. It is a staggering figure that reflects their degree of powerlessness and vulnerability (Sobsey, 1988; in Howe, 1999). High rates of sexual assault are also reported for intellectually and physically disabled men.

Respect:

Most sexual assault survivors do not report the crime to the police. This can be due to a number of reasons involving shame, fear of being disbelieved, fear of the abuser, fear of the consequences of reporting the abuse, and the stigma surrounding sexual abuse issues.

Protect:

The safety of the victim/survivor, both emotionally and physically, needs to be the major consideration at all times. There must be a balance between respecting the victim's rights and wishes, and ensuring their absolute safety.

Connect:

Phone SECASA 9594 2289 or the after hours telephone service: Statewide 24/7 - Sexual Assault Crisis Line on 1800 806 292.

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Disclaimer Copyright Updated: 21 Sep 2009